Becoming Is A Process

To become like Him, we must be teachable like a little child.
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It's the end of the first semester and I can hardly believe I made it through. There were a lot of fears and tears, but it was all worth it! In my Book of Mormon religion class, we had to choose an attribute to help us become a better disciple of Jesus Christ. The following is my journey of the process and my final report.

I chose courage for my Becoming Project. I know that the Lord’s hand was in my decision to enroll in the Pathway program, so I have been praying to have an increase of courage to complete the program and continue with my education. I have been so afraid of failing, that I have often let opportunities pass me by.  Achieving this goal has, and will continue to, require a lot of discipline, faith, and courage on my part. I want to replace my fear with courage, so that I can be a happy, confident, willing, contributing servant of the Lord.

I chose the following scriptures and added a summary of how I thought they applied to me personally for this semester. 

1 Nephi 3:7- This scripture has many dimensions, but for the attribute I’ve chosen, it shows me that God is aware of the details; that if He has a task for me to do, that He will not leave me, but He will provide the courage I need for it to be accomplished. 

1 Nephi 3:15- This scripture is a perfect example of how by exercising courage and faith I can accomplish even the most difficult things.  

Mosiah 4:27- This scripture demonstrates to me that in order to get to where I want to be, I need to pray, study, ponder, organize, and pace myself to accomplish my end goal. By doing those things it will give me the ability to feel peace with whatever I am faced with, and the courage to carry on.

Alma 26:12- This scripture strongly reminds me that I need Heavenly Father.  All that I am able to accomplish is through Him. Knowing that even if I don’t feel courageous, strong enough, or am lacking in faith, He can do all things. Therefore, I can do all things that He requires of me.

The changes I hoped to see as I became more courageous were to have less anxiety about school work; to be able to remember, retain and recall information as needed for school and life; to recognize the blessings that Heavenly Father has blessed me with; and discernment to recognize the promptings of the Spirit and then act on them.

The goals I set to help me make consistent progress were:

Pray for and give thanks for the increase in courage, guidance, strength and clarity of mind; listen more intently for the promptings of the Holy Ghost and then be courageous enough to take action; refrain from judging/criticizing others; make certain others were included, felt loved and valued; study the women in the scriptures, and look for ways they showed courage; study, not just read the conference talks that reference courage; to overcome my anxiety and have more balance in my life; write down the good things I’m accomplishing; and share the Gospel with boldness.

We were going through some major life changes when I made the decision to go to school, so that only added to the stress and anxiety I was feeling. I remember calling the missionary couple that is over our area to clarify what would happen if I started and then moved away during the semester. He was so kind and reassured me that if I would start the Pathway program that everything would work out and that my life would be blessed. That was enough for me to push the apply button. During the first couple of weeks, I honestly didn’t know if I would have the courage to do this program. My self-esteem was so low that I think I nearly drove my husband crazy constantly asking for reassurance. I was ready to drop out about a gazillion times. Then, slowly but surely changes started to happen as I kept moving forward with faith and working on my goals. Halfway into the third week, I started feeling less panicked. Not by much, but enough for me to think that I might be able to get through the semester.

There have been so many unexpected blessings and changes from working on my goals to have more courage. One of the first things I noticed is that even though my stress level went up with regards to going back to school, my stress level came down about the other things going on in my life that I had no control over. I noticed that I had increased patience and tolerance, and that I wasn’t complaining as much. That as I worked on not judging others that my love for them increased. I have more peace in my life, even though at times I’m still filled with some anxiety.

The biggest change for me was my new love of the scriptures. I am really studying them, not just reading them. There are so many wonderful treasures in them, and I am able to remember who people are, how they relate and their stories beyond 1 Nephi for the first time in my life, even though I’ve read The Book of Mormon all the way through numerous times. Honestly, to me above all else, that has been my greatest blessing of all; to be able to hear, liken, and retain Heavenly Father’s words and see how they apply in my life. I also have been able to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with greater boldness, and to have my faith strengthened as the world around me has become more wicked.

Today is the last day of my first semester, which absolutely amazes me. When I look back at the lack of confidence I had when I started, to the confidence I have today, it is truly nothing short of a miracle. I will continue to apply the skills I’ve learned along the way. I will keep working on having courage. I have learned that through Christ ALL things are possible. I am forever grateful for the tender mercies I have been blessed with for the last 14 weeks, while striving to become a better disciple of Jesus Christ.

Thanks for sharing in my journey. I’d love to hear how you are striving to become a better disciple of Jesus Christ.